Recently in How to... Category

1) Keep saying that Ryan Phillipe is just a pretty boy.
2) Use all of my Oil of Olay Active Body Fluid.
3) Pinch my cheeks, especially the ones on my face.
4) Play the "circle game" with me without informing me what it is or that I'm playing it.
5) Be Arnie in Commando.
6) Look like an inorganic chemistry book.
7) Tell me how you've been revising for the last six months.
8) Be a fish that refuses to eat anything but the other fish in the tank.
9) Say "So?" fifteen times in a row just to be irritating.
10) Call me "Thaima car". It's cute because you're 2 years old but I'm not taking you out in the car for the twentieth time today.

1) Wake up at five to one in the afternoon.
2) Wake up to your sister asking you for a lift to college. She needs to get there for one o'clock.
3) Realise that the people in the neighbouring town don't like you.
4) Wash your filthy car that has bird droppings on it in the freezing cold till your hands are numb.
5) Imagine the prospect of telling a rather large man why you've splashed his brand new car.
6) Run downstairs when your little sister screams that one of your fish have eaten the other fish only to discover it was just hiding behind a plant.
7) Have a kid throw Ribena over your brand new white apparel.
8) Watch an interview with the So Solid Crew.
9) Realise you have less than a month to revise for seven exams.
10) Eat raw cheese by mistake.