Wild Whippy West

When I was a child, one of the most magical moments of summer was the sound of an approaching ice cream van. The soft jingle to the tune of "The teddy bear's picnic", "Ring a ring a roses" or "Twinkle twinkle little star", all the auditory equivalents of Mr. Kipling's French Fancies.

To all those who think kids of today haven't been desensitized by TV and film, their innocence taken away much too early, ponder this. A mini heatwave today has the ice cream vans out in full force, one of them cruising up our street ten minutes ago. Hmm, "Summer holiday", "Oranges and lemons", "London Bridge"? No....."The Good, The Bad and The Ugly".

Dude, seriously. Of all the inappropriate songs to accompany the sale of dairy delicacies, that might be on the top of the list, closely followed by "Sexual Healing" and Sir Mixalot's classic "Baby Got Back".

Hang on though. Maybe there is method to Mr. Ice Cream Man's madness.

Flake 99...Good. Double chocolate Magnum...oooh, so Bad. And after you've had four Feasts in the space of twenty minutes, I tell ya, it's anything but pretty.