October 2002 Archives

PYRA LABS FROM SAN FRANSISCO, CALIFORNIA. USING GREEN TO BLIND YOU SINCE 1999.

Hello.

I'm incredibly excited about the fact that I now have broadband.

Goodbye.

One of my favourite stores has dramatically improved it's online presence meaning less trips to London just to buy the coolest little bits of stationery. Not that I did that of course....

I still don't bloody know that movie.

Jelly on a plate,
Jelly on a plate,
Wibble wobble,
Wibble wobble,
Oh shit, jelly on my lap :(

Funny how things change isn't it? Nowadays you must say 'yes' to the 'does my bum look big in this?' question to retain marital bliss.

Caller: Could I speak to Mr. P. Brain please?
Saima: I beg your pardon?
Caller: P. Brain. Does he still work there?
Saima: (covers phone and stifles laughter) Hey someone is winding me up! They're asking for a P. Brain! I must be on the radio!
Colleague: Oh no, that's Paul Brain. He's the site manager.....
Saima: .........sorry.

When I first saw that guy perform the bhangra remix of Holly Valance's "Kiss Kiss" I laughed so hard you could have compared me to the McDonald hyenas. It's much better than the actual remix of course but that's because bhangra remixes tend to be laughable. More of the pants than the 'oh I've wet my pants because that is so funny' laughable.

Anyway, a few weeks on, I've watched it many more times; on repeats, the web and 'best ofs'. Yep, still side-splitting.

I'm sad.

I've had a lot of people, a whole lot, coming to this site in search of lyrics to the song Nu Flow. They're not on this site and neither is the download. Try here for the lyrics and here for the download instead. Hope that helps.

I've started talking about Hello Kitty. It may be time for a break. I'll be back before you can say "lack of sleep". Join the mailing list if you're a true believer.

Before I go, one question. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I never thought you could have so much Hello Kitty merchandise. Yeah it's cute but a Hello Kitty USB-HUB? A Hello Kitty waffle maker?! Hello Kitty auto gear cover???? That just seems plain wrong.

I'm not sure why but I dont like the word awesome.

How long do you think it takes QVC presenters before they start believing their own bullshit?

Men vs. Women

After watching Vanilla Sky and it appearing in the news, it seems cryonics raises its ugly head again. If that sounds like your cup of tea however but you can't afford the $28,000 fee why not enter the New Scientist competition?

I hear Matt. Amazon delivery is being shitty. I ordered a birthday present for a friend whose birthday was a month ago and it still isn't there! We are not impressed.

Also I'd like you to note that rain is joy, Justin is hot and I am not Cher.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?

[Related links: Yahoo! news report and the official site for funniest jokes by country and UK regions.]

Isn't it just the worst when you get a new toy, rip it out of it's box all eager only to find it needs 7 million AA batteries?

I'm pretty sure that if this had turned up, our Easter Egg Hunt would have taken the top prize for Scary Holiday Events toppling Mrs Morgan's impression of Babushka for the Christmas play.